: \

i've been here before. i'm afraid to get comfortable again becuase the last time that i did i get destroyed. : \ my parents do not think that i should be happy. it does not benefit them in any way. why would they? i think being away from home is good for me. three days here & already i'm happier? i don't understand this;; aren't homes supposed to be a place of comfort?

in seventeen years i have seen more than my share of problems. most of this i blame on myself because i feel i can protect everyone. because i want to be able to protect everyone from all the shit i've faced. no i am not saying my life is the roughest that there is, but no it's not a walk in the park either. but i guess unless you live another life you can't really appreciate what you have right now? maybe one day things will change.

however, for now my trust issues will remain, my fear of getting too comfortable will remain, & my fear of so much more will remain.