update.

I just finally remembered my blog. The fact that I forgot my blog is why I have not written anything in quite a while. Everything is far different from how they used to be. Number one difference is I lost my happiness. I was dating Saydee. She was my happiness. I dated her for a while, it was two days shy of six months. I love Saydee, I know this. She says she still loves me, and honestly I believe her on that. I know that I may not always make the best choices and I may not be the best girlfriend, but she took me that way. She didn't mind my flaws. She knew that my flaws are a part of who I am. I understand her reasons, I definitely want her to do whatever it is that is best for her. Even if that I am not what is best for her. I struggle to get over her, but I know that no matter how hard I try I love her and know that it's a pointless attempt because I can not get over her. I know that she feels bad for hurting me the way she did, but I know that it was not done intentionally.
I believe that she just got lost. I think that she realized how long that we have been together and that thought scared her. I hope that one day she will realize that she is all I've ever wanted or needed. I struggle waking up some mornings, but I made her a promise that I would hold on. I do not break promises.
I believe that everything happens for a reason. I am not sure of this reason yet, but I know there is one.
"They're written on these pages, it's written on our faces.
I know you don't want this, but know that I need this more than I did before.
It's easy to see that it's hard to ignore your subtle hands,
I'm catching wind how insincere are your finger prints.

So make me promises, girl, the kind I know you can't keep
And while I'm losing my mind, I hope you're home finding sleep.
But you and I both know that that's not the case
Because the look on your face gives all your secrets away.

Can we talk this over, at least just for tonight?
I asked myself one hundred times why...
Did we even bother? Why did we even try?
But I miss you more than I did before,
I showed you my heart and you showed me the door.
Your subtle hands, I'm catching wind how insincere are your finger prints."
100 times-- Hit The Lights.<3